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The Week of Chesed The concept of chesed is often misunderstood and mistranslated as ‘kindness’ or ‘lovingkindness’. The association extends to the paragon of chesed, Avraham, who is often thought of as a ‘nice guy’. While I am certain this description is not inaccurate, it does not sum up Avraham’s attribute of chesed. In looking at Avraham’s story, we certainly do take note of his enthusiasm in welcoming guests – particularly in light of Midrashic literature. But in order to understand chesed, we must look at another facet of this gesture of welcoming beside its basic generosity. In context of Avraham’s whole life, the common thread of all of his acts is a willingness to courageously enter difficult or uncomfortable situations. Note his willingness to enter a new land (lech l’cha – go forth!), his incursion to Pharaoh’s house, his capacity to start difficult conversations with Hashem as well as with his nephew, Lot, his willingness to marry Hagar, and his enthusiastic commitment to the horribly uncomfortable Divine command to make his son into an offering. Seen in this context, the notable portion of his hospitality is not so much his generosity as his ability to be in an unknown and uncertain space with strangers. Chesed is the willingness and capacity to be present despite anxieties and uncertainties. This is, of course, a deep gesture of love, but it is a much deeper love than words, flowers, or a few coins for the poor. It is the essential emotion that puts us in the space of someone who needs love, regardless of whether we have any coins to give. The week of chesed, then, is about how we are lovingly present in each other’s lives. Though it may be easy and tempting to stay in the safe confines of our own personal space, we must learn to offer ourselves to each other as concerned souls. Again, what we give is secondary to the fact that we put ourselves in the vulnerable position of caring. Each day of this week teaches us the different ways in which we offer ourselves to others. Day 1 – chesed she’b’chesed and Day 2 - gevurah she’b’chesed Chesed she’b’chesed implies not only a willingness to be present in caring but also a willingness to offer something specific within that presence. It is what we might call ‘present and full’. Gevurah she’b’chesed, on the other hand, represents ‘present but empty’. Chesed she’b’chesed full presence has a sense of what to give – ‘you look like you could really use a massage!’ Chesed she’b’chesed puts itself out, and is therefore doubly vulnerable: not only does it have the gumption to enter someone else’s life, it even has an idea as to what that person needs. This can be essential if a person has a hard time expressing what he or she needs. When such a person has chesed she’b’chesed extended to them, he or she feels seen and cared for. When this trait is expressed to a person who doesn’t appreciate being predicted or ‘put in a box’, it can cause friction. Gevurah she’b’chesed, on the other hand, is present but empty. It knows the other person needs something but it does not want to fill in the blanks. Rather, it might say something like ‘I’m here if you want to talk.’ Or it might not have any words at all, but might be a posture of paying attention to someone else – even across the room or across the world. Present and open, listening, available, flexible. Day 3 - Tiferet she’b’chesed There are so many kinds of giving. A person must be fully flexible, able to give in many different ways depending on what is called for in a situation. When going to a shiva house, for example, the best way of giving is to sit silently and listen. This is very much gevurah she’b’chesed. On the other hand, grabbing the bride or groom for a dance at the wedding may be the best way to give – and this is more chesed she’b’chesed. What do they have in common? They are both movement toward another in order to create a certain kind of situation. How are they different? They differ in what will happen once that situation is created. Tiferet she’b’chesed is also a specific type of interaction that happens within a given situation. It is the act of taking initiative to create a situation in which a certain kind of interaction can happen. And that interaction involves tiferet, usually translated as balance, harmony, or even tension. We may understand tiferet better from an adage written in Pirkei Avot: Rebbe said, ‘what is the way that a person should choose? Any that is tiferet to the one who does it, and tiferet to him from other people.’ Tiferet is the way that resonates with both or all people involved. Thus, the specific ingredient added with tiferet she’b’chesed is to be sure that it is adequately serving both or all people involved. It is quite possible for a person to give in such a way that they completely obscure the other person. And it is quite possible to give in such a way where the giver’s needs are ignored. Both are giving at the expense of another. Today we must move toward giving in a way that makes us both happy and serves us both most deeply. Day 4 - Netzach she’b’chesed Many people have a hard time giving or a hard time receiving, or both. Some of us are born naturally stingy with our time, energy, and resources; others of us are inherently suspicious whenever a hand is extended to us, rooted in pride or defensiveness. For this purpose, sometimes our acts of chesed – our capacity to make a space of interaction – meets strong opposition, either internally or externally. One of our essential tools is to move through those barriers skillfully. This is netach she’b’chesed. Netzach is associated with power, perseverance, eternality, and victory. It connotes a long term vision of what is important, and requires that we place priority on long-term goals rather than short-term accomplishments. (It’s sister, hod, is the opposite, as we shall see.) Associated with the right leg, netzach implies powerfully overcoming obstacles by invoking the long-term project. It thus enables us to overcome our inner blocks to acts of Loving Presence. We might have voices inside that tell us not to visit the sick, do a shiva call, or volunteer at the soup kitchen, because they are awkward moments. Netzach she’b’chesed allows us to overcome those doubts. And we might also encounter someone who insists that they do not need a helping hand, someone to talk to, a few extra dollars, etc. – while it is clear that they actually do want that help. This same netzach she’b’chesed breaks through to create the possibility of a giving encounter. Today it is wise to notice the obstacles we encounter on our path to creating moments of loving presence and interaction, and to find ways to overcome those obstacles. Day 5 - Hod she’b’chesed While netzach of chesed is concerned with overcoming obstacles to loving presence, hod of chesed does not involve overcoming barriers – in fact, the opposite. It concerns the need to honor, and be present about, what already is. The word hod implies gratitude, admission, acknowledgment. Unlike its brother, netzach, hod is not directed toward a particular purpose; rather, hod’s purpose is the moment itself. The two work in tandem – sometimes we need to move through a barrier, and sometimes we need to notice how beautiful the situation is, regardless of the barrier. Both are needed at key moments in order to keep a relationship moving, but the wrong one will block the relationship even further. It is therefore important to know these tools well and to apply them appropriately. In context of chesed, these two skills represent what kind of Loving Presence we must bring. Sometimes true presence is one that cuts through the fog of a moment, and at other times, true presence is merely comforting, accepting, loving and honoring. The work of day five is the simple un-intrusive presence that says ‘I am here. I love you. I do not need this situation to change in any way.’ Day 6 - Yesod she’b’chesed Yesod of chesed involves the clarification of relationship that will allow for true chesed to be transmitted. That is to say, we are now leaving the realm of intentions and ideas and entering the world of actual relationship. This day forces us to ask whether we have attended to our relationships such that, when it comes time to be involved in each other’s lives, will it be possible? Or is my personality a block to that happening? Yesod is said to be embodied by Yosef. Yosef had a lot to give – in fact, he was the locus of a vision for his entire family’s future. But his relationships could not bear what he had to give, because he had damaged them through arrogance and ignorance. He is said to have delivered a constant stream of gossip about his brothers and, it seems, thought himself quite superior to them. So when the time came to relate his dreams – dreams that ultimately foretold the future of the family, his narrations fell on deaf ears. This is a time to focus on cultivating trust, reliability, appreciation, and loyalty in relationships so that, when the time comes to step through boundaries, it will be received as it is intended – as an expression of love. Day 7 - Malchut she’b’chesed When my relationship to my entire world bears the possibility of transmission of love, I have established malchut of chesed. Malchut implies a system or web of relationships organized around a certain principle. The kabbalistic ideal of Malchut is a sovereign whose will is manifest without obstacle in all corners of the kingdom. There is no interference between will and expression. When translated into the week of chesed, malchut implies that every relationship I am in allows for the expression of my basic desire to be directly involved in people’s lives. It shows that I have succeeded in applying the principle of the ‘clear channel’ thoroughly and systematically. Every encounter that I have bears the possibility of a rich interaction based upon principles of chesed. Today’s work is to expand the breadth where I’d want my chesed to be focused, and to take action toward ensuring that my chesed could be received in those realms. The week of gevurah is marked by self-control and restraint. We know this from a classic line in Pirkei Avot – ‘who is gibbur (same root as gevurah)? The one who controls his/her yetzer – inclination/tendency. Rebbe Nachman connects the word for inclination/tendency with the word yetzirah – formation. Yetzirah connotes making something out of a raw material (the making of raw material is beriah – creation). Control of one’s yetzer, then, implies holding one’s self back from manipulating what is before us and making what we want out of it. It is tantamount to withholding one’s opinion about a situation and allowing it to express itself at its own pace. Day 8 - Chesed she’b’gevurah Chesed of gevurah, then, implies the proactive creation of space in which something can grow according to its own will and rules. Often times we encounter a situation in which an outside force will clearly interfere with a process that would otherwise produce useful results. Chesed of gevurah blocks the likely or inevitable results of this interfering element. An example in the physical world might be to remove a weed so that a plant can grow. This serves as a powerful metaphor for all sorts of interference or interruption for the sake of growth – separating two people who are hindering each other, removing a distraction like a telephone in order to allow work to happen, or the like. Day 9 - Gevurah she’b’gevurah Sometimes space needs to be created, borne of an act of interference that removes obstacles preventing one from growing. And there are other times when any act of interference is simply interference and must be avoided. This is gevurah of gevurah. It is actually quite difficult to be silent when we care about someone – when we see what they ‘need’ in order to grow, solve a problem, etc. But it is a skill that we need just the same – the capacity to allow someone to make their own attempts and mistakes. Gevurah of gevurah is the ultimate withholding-of-self. Today is a day to notice our capacities, or lack thereof, to stand back, watch, and allow. Day 10 - Tefirat she’b’gevurah More complicated – and more real and more satisfying – than making space through either interference or through withdrawal is the creation of space through cooperation. Tiferet of gevurah requires a nuanced and realistic approach to making space, one that honors the skills and shortcomings of all parties involved. A space borne of chesed – ‘interference’ or ‘imposition’ – and one borne of gevurah – ‘withdrawal’ or ‘self-restraint’ – both imply the diminution of one or the other participants or factors. With tiferet, however, we find a conscious symbiosis, a purposeful cooperative project the creation of which is as satisfying as the result. An example of tiferet of chesed is how two people agree to create space for one another – it may take the form of working on a mutually agreeable schedule, making time for one or the other to take a class, or agreeing that the current moment is not a good time to speak about a certain topic. Day 11 - Netzach she’b’gevurah Sometimes space is forthcoming and available. But at other times it must be created against the flow of events or factors. We may well need to fight in order to make space – to let the long-term need for room-to-move overcome the apparent needs of a moment. This skill is a manifestation of netzach of gevurah. In the larger context, netzach of gevurah is the overcoming of any temptation to violate appropriate self-restraint. If only our lives and worlds agreed to our decisions! But alas, they do not so simply release their own agendas in favor of ours. We may well need to assert our decisions and needs in order that they be realized. This is particularly hard in the realm of self-restraint. Our temptations and desires – whether driven by good will, love, anxiety or hormones, impatience, good judgment, or religious ideals – persist whether we decide against them or not. After all, decision is a rational, cortical function; and many of our drives reside in more compelling and less negotiable parts of the brain. Netzach of gevurah is the added ingredient that allows us to overcome our inappropriate or ill-timed drives to connect, to judge, to interfere, and to change the world around us. Today would be a good day to clarify the meta-goals and principles that make moment-to-moment restraint a necessary force. Day 12 - Hod she’b’gevurah For gevurah of gevurah, we spoke about truly giving space – honoring the fact that, by merely participating, we may be infringing upon the natural growth of person, idea, or situation. Hod of gevurah brings us a step further – making space for another at one’s own expense. Whereas netzach of gevurah calls upon us to forcefully remove anything that threatens the necessary space for something to happen, hod of gevurah connotes the opposite – allowing one’s self and one’s concerns to be ‘removed’ so that the process can continue. This is a day of mesirut nefesh, of consciously giving up on one’s own needs for the sake of another’s growth. Day 13 - Yesod she’b’gevurah The ‘top’ level of the sefirot (Divine emanations) – chesed, gevurah, and tiferet – connote the content of what is being exchanged. The next level – netzach, hod, and yesod – define how that content is exchanged. Yesod defines the perfection of the exchange so that both parties are nourished and satisfied. Yesod of gevurah gives us space without abandonment and without pain. No one feels that their feelings or needs have been infringed upon in order for that space to happen. The one who yields more is able to feel that that yielding is purposeful and positive, and the one who is yielded to does not feel they have taken advantage of the situation. Today we should focus on the solutions we need in order to ensure that we both have space to grow, and being certain that those solutions are not merely effective in creating space but are brought about in a way that is peaceful. Day 14 - Malchut she’b’gevurah The malchut of any week of sefirot points toward our ability to manifest that week’s trait systematically. Or put another way, are you able to turn this particular trait into a lifestyle, and not just manifest it in one or two particular moments? And put yet another way, if you haven’t gotten a good hold on this trait by the day of malchut, you’re probably going to get slammed. Malchut of gevurah – are you showing proper restraint and self-containment in all aspects of your life? Are you staying focused and controlling your output according to each situation, holding yourself back from imposing your will or asserting your presence whenever it is not called for? Are you suspending the need to have an opinion? These are all indications of a strong and versatile gevurah. And if you are able to do it in some situations but not in others, then you can clearly see where you are blocked on malchut of gevurah. The week of tiferet – a blessed opportunity to notice our strengths and shortcomings in the realm of cooperation, coexistence, balance, harmony, and capacity to hold tension when necessary. Tiferet implies complexity and the capacity to create, cultivate and appreciate nuance in a situation. After all, most situations require a precise admixture of generosity and restraint, expression as well as listening. And, ironically, the person said to most exemplify tiferet is Ya’akov, who is called ‘ish tam yoshev ohalim’ – the person who has integrity while sitting in tents. The tents, plural, that he sits in are said to be the tents of Avraham his grandfather and Yitzhak his father. He learns from both of them, but is still able to maintain his temimut – his simplicity/integrity. The ultimate tiferet is not held together with complex formulae, strategies, and assumptions but is a natural balance, having found the center-point where all factors and ingredients happily and constructively coexist. Day 15 - Chesed she’b’ tiferet Chesed of tiferet may best be understood as the enthusiastic engagement in the process of finding and sustaining the balance between all factors. Whereas tomorrow’s trait involves restraint and space-making in order to allow this balance to be achieved, today is about initiating the process. This is a good day to take a look at one or two relationships or tasks and attempt to examine and modify the balance of factors involved for maximum outcome. Day 16 - Gevurah she’b’ tiferet At this point in the Omer, we are attempting to facilitate moments of balance and cooperation. What we are asking now is how those moments are created. Sometimes they are borne of enthusiastic engagement, actively participating in each other's lives. That was chesed of tiferet. With gevurah of tiferet, we take courage to recognize that, sometimes, our very presence is impeding the balance, and we need to withdraw. That is to say, the balance and harmony would occur naturally if we were not interfering. This is definitely a day to allow others to speak, to come up with ideas, to guide a process or conversation, and to notice whether harmony occurs when we let go. This will call our attention toward our habits (or lack thereof) of feeling we need to force a situation to be harmonious. Day 17 - Tiferet she’b’ tiferet The ideal of the week of tiferet is that the medium and the message would match: that we would harmoniously create harmony, or cooperate in creating balance. This is quite a skill, requiring us to bring ourselves fully to the moment and to fully create space for the other. Not simple. At the core of this work is faith in ourselves and in others – in terms of vision and in terms of process. If we do not believe in ourselves, or in our skills, we will defer to others to create harmonious situations, and will then have to hide our disappointment if it does not turn out right. And if we do not believe in others – in terms of their vision or their skills in attaining that vision – we will impose ourselves in terms of process and result, and we will have to face the reality of being somewhat of a tyrant. Day 18 - Netzach she’b’ tiferet As we approach netzach of tiferet, we enter the uncomfortable territory of having push through the barriers to balance and harmony. This is awkward because it sounds like an oxymoron, but it is not. It only requires laser precision and self-control to be sure we separate the means from the end. The means are somewhat forceful, driven by clarity of purpose and the ultimate good to overcome challenges presented by temporal concerns and setbacks. But the goal is to reach harmony, beauty, and balance. In such a situation, we must remind ourselves that we are trying to create moments and situations where two wills, two sets of priorities and desires, can co-exist. This is the clear goal. Common obstacles to that include the passivities and over-aggression we have discussed, and also include external distractions that prevent us from having such moments. In the extreme, this could require pushing a negative influence away if that influence is preventing one or both of us from bringing the fullness of who we are to the table. Day 19 - Hod she’b’ tiferet Hod of tiferet involves allowing a harmony that already exists to affect us. This is a harmony that does not need to be created; it needs to be allowed to happen. We often find ourselves seeking a higher-order harmony than we have at present – and there is certainly a time to strive toward deeper harmony. But there is also a time to appreciate the harmony and balance we already have, even if it is not the ideal. Today is a day to notice if we are trying too hard to make our lives ‘harmonious;, and ignoring the harmony that is already there. Day 20 - Yesod she’b’ tiferet Yesod of tiferet both occupy the ‘middle line’ in the Tree of Life. They are both concerned, in a sense, with balance and harmony, but on different levels. Whereas tiferet implies balance in terms of the ‘substance’ or ‘product’, yesod implies balance and peace in execution. Tiferet can be too soft and too hard – ironically, they both come out the same. When it is too soft, not all the ingredients are there that need to be there. It is an uneasy peace, a balance that walks on eggshells. It may be borne of not wanting to rock the boat, burden the other, cause inconvenience, or be too honest. When it is too hard, tiferet is held at gunpoint. We might feel threatened, fearful that upsetting the balance will lead to pain. One or the other of us might feel that bringing more of ourselves into the relationship will bring anger. Yesod guarantees that we are both happy with the result and that we are both happy with how we got there. Today is the day to look at the foundations of the harmony and balance we have and to be sure that it itself is built upon strong foundations. Day 21 - Malchut she’b’ tiferet It may be that we have found a working balance and harmony with particular people in our lives or aspects of ourselves. But malchut of tiferet asks whether this applies to all relationships in our lives. The malchut of each week is probably the most challenging in that it requires of us to apply our recently acquired and refined skills systematically. Though we certainly cannot hope to bring all of our relationships up to this level of tiferet, we can at the least notice the level of balance and harmony in a wider spectrum of relationships we are in – a family member? A co-worker? One of the kids? The Week of Netzach The week of netzach brings our attention to how we push through obstacles and barriers in order to manifest vision. Obstacles are interesting things – they provide us with resistance and help us to clarify our commitment to our pursuits. As such it is not wise to simply demolish everything that stands in our path. It is far more useful to carefully consider our approach to that which lies across our path to fullest expression. Day 22 - Chesed she’b’ netzach We must keep our wits as we approach a challenge and discern to the best of our abilities what course of action we will take. The first decision we make is whether we will move into confrontation or stay back and wait. The skill of moving into confrontation with an obstacle is rooted in chesed of netzach. This may take the form of initiating a difficult conversation or defending our right to be ourselves in the face of others who wish to suppress us. It might also involve moving to a deeper level of self-knowledge, asking ourselves hard questions about our present and future. Day 23 - Gevurah she’b’ netzach On the other hand, we may decide that this is not a good time for confrontation or assertion – for a variety of reasons: perhaps we are not ready. Perhaps we should allow the situation to unfold further before we take a stance. With gevurah we apply self-restraint. Self-restraint may seem passive but it is quite active. After all, only a ‘mighty person’ can truly restrain him- or herself. And as we find in the writings of R’ Simcha Bunim and Rav Kook, among others, this self restraint actually produces and exudes very positive and useful energy. And it certainly does effect the world around is. It can even bring about the downfall of our enemies, as Rebbe Nachman writes. Today is the day to focus on how we resist the urge to exert our vision, choosing instead to stand in patience as matters around us are blessed by our restraint. Day 24 - Tiferet she’b’ netzach Though it is certainly tempting to take a stance one way or the other in any given situation, it is far more difficult and rewarding to hold a more nuanced position. Tiferet is the expression of many factors and considerations coexisting. Tiferet of netzach requires engagement with our obstacles while also exercising restraint. This trait asks us to look at our ability to engage our obstacles, enemies and challenges without immediately striving to overcome them. It is the willingness to engage in a wrestling match that may well end in a draw, but serves to test our strength as well as the strength of the opponent. Today, work on making contact with difficult issues without trying to solve it or make it go your way. Day 25 - Netzach she’b’ netzach I am still holding my vision before me, taking time to consider how best to manifest it in the world. And when the time comes, I need to be able to push forward with it. This is netzach of netzach. Am I able to push my agenda when I need to, or do I choke at that moment? This is the time to look at the obstacles that prevent us from bringing it out, and how to overcome those obstacles. If I have an idea about, say, where we should go on a date, or a business idea, or something I want to get done around the house, what keeps me from making it happen? Day 26 - Hod she’b’ netzach Thursday night/Friday There are times when fulfillment of our vision requires assertion, exertion, and force, but there are other times when only passivity, humility, and deference will do the trick. Our vision is happening, and any action on our part would actually interfere with the process. This skill is hod of netzach. We must use this skill in moments where fulfillment of our goals is coming at us, when it is already alive. If, for example, someone is apologizing because they have come to agree with our point of view, it would only detract from our real goal to interfere in the process. Sometimes we need to let our vision happen to us. Day 27 - Yesod she’b’ netzach With yesod, all of the deliberation and assessment meets the world of action. The first five sefirot of the week concern our process of looking objectively at our vision, and positioning ourselves in terms of what it is and how we wish to execute it. With yesod, we turn our attention to vision in the context of relationship. How does our vision – and its expression – affect those around us? Are we sensitive to others in the moment when we are attempting to fulfill our vision? And are we too sensitive to others and not sensitive enough to ourselves and our own needs? These are the questions yesod of netzach wants us to ask. Day 28 - Malchut she’b’ netzach Manifestation of any vision – a relationship, a business, a practice – is a multifaceted project. For example, we cannot focus all of our vision-skills on a product and none of them on marketing. Malchut of netzach requires we honor and engage with every facet of the vision we are attempting to materialize. As we have mentioned, malchut is often the most challenging in that it requires the widest view, ensuring that whatever we are doing, it is being done in all aspects of our lives. Today we should notice where our vision meets the road, and where we might need to focus more attention to make it happen. The Week of Hod Hod, epitomized by Aharon the Kohen, does not concern manifestation of vision or pushing agendas. It concerns honoring what is. We read in Pirkei Avot: Let a person always strive to be among the students of Aharon – loving peace and pursuing peace, loving people and bringing them close to Torah. We notice that Pirkei Avot calls on us to first love people, then draw them close to Torah. Whereas netzach concerns pushing the world toward the vision, hod concerns embracing the world as it is. Hod may be quite difficult for those of us who carry around a sense of where we want to go (or where we think we should want to go). It speaks specifically to all of us who are unsatisfied, always pushing, always moving ‘forward’. It involves admitting our shortcomings, being grateful of what we are giving, and acknowledging a ‘Giver’. Day 29 - Chesed she’b’ Hod Interesting that Aharon is described as ‘pursuing peace’. Chesed of hod implies a kind of pursuit, an awareness that when things are left to themselves, hod might not happen. Sometimes a situation requires a reminder to honor what is already there. As we survey the world we live in, the relationships we are involved in, we should consider which ones could use more hod, and recognize in our minds that it will not happen automatically. Day 30 - Gevurah she’b’ Hod Day 31 - Tiferet she’b’ Hod Day 32 - Netzach she’b’ Hod Day 33 - Hod she’b’ Hod Day 34 - Yesod she’b’ Hod Day 35 - Malchut she’b’ Hod The Week of Yesod In Yeshiva, people used to hide (or want to) when we reached the week of yesod in the Omer. This is because yesod is about relationship, plain and simple. Yesod is where the rubber hits the road, and any flaw in yesod will yield an awkward, unsatisfying, or even damaging interaction. As such, Rebbe Nachman encouraged his followers to devote substantial time and energy to addressing issues of yesod. He particularly encouraged the saying of ten specific Psalms – 15, 32, 41, 42, 59, 77, 90, 105, 137, and 150 – as a way to address issues of yesod on a spiritual/emotional plane. He called this tikkun haclali – the all-encompassing rectification. This week is an amazing opportunity to notice and adjust how we relate to one another. Day 36 - Chesed she’b’ Yesod It starts with chesed of yesod, which might best be understood as initiating moments of relationship and encounter. We might notice our reluctance to even enter into such moments because of fear, shame, shyness, and countless other reasons. But today is a day to start conversations and begin to notice how we interact in this all-essential field. Day 37 - Gevurah she’b’ Yesod For the Evening of May 26, 2008 And with gevurah of yesod, we might flex our capacity to avoid relationship and encounter if we are not prepared to do so in a satisfying way. There may be times when we are simply not sufficiently in control of our self-centeredness or judgment, and we need to learn to withdraw ourselves if we are unable to bring sincerity, humility and openness to our encounters. As such, this would be an opportune time to exercise our ability not to answer phones, say no to meetings, and take active steps to restore our own sense of balance in relationships. Day 37 - Gevurah she’b’ Yesod The Week of Malchut When we talk about Hashem’s malchut, we are describing the way in which Hashem’s will reaches fruition in the details of the world we live in. In a true malchut, every detail of the experience of the ‘kingdom’ points toward the ‘king’. As such, if the details of the ‘kingdom’ do not point to the ‘sovereign’, then the ‘kingship’ has not been fully realized. Rebbe Nachman writes that we are all endowed with a particular ‘kingdom’ or malchut. For some it is vast, for others it is limited. For some it is revealed, and for some it is hidden. As we enter this final week of the omer, our thoughts turn toward where and how our sovereignty takes effect, and where it does not. Ultimately, sovereignty implies responsibility. Just as a Jewish king was not allowed to send his troops into war without being willing to lead them himself, we must take responsibility for realizing – and defending –our particular neck of the woods. Day 43 - Chesed of malchut Responsibility trumps fear. Given that we are each given a particular realm that is ours to oversee and maintain and provide for, it is simply not an option to refuse to do so. If we do not do our job there, people and situations could suffer deeply. And it is no one else’s responsibility but ours. Today’s work involves taking responsibility for the realm that we know to be hours. We must take up residence in the relationships, communities, situations, markets, and conversations where we are the sole bearers of a certain set of skills, ideas, or might be the only person capable of real empathy. Day 44 - Gevurah of malchut There are certainly times when we try to take control of, or responsibility for, a situation, and we fail. And this could happen for many reasons – one of them is that it is simply not ours to meddle with. While it is imperative to take responsibility for the realms that do concern us, it is equally urgent to not take responsibility for those realms that do not concern us. This requires an enormous amount of discipline and self-restraint – it is certainly tempting to want to have impact all over the map. It also requires deep humility to give malchut to someone else. When we see that someone is better equipped to handle a situation than we are, we simply must give it over, no matter how humiliating it may feel. For if we expend energy managing situations that are not ours to manage, we will not have sufficient reserves of energy for the situations that are ours to manage. Day 45 - Tiferet of malchut Some leadership roles are quite clear, but most are not. Most often, we cannot rightly claim that this entire situation, place, relationship, committee, etc. is entirely dependent upon us to succeed. And yet we cannot say that such situations will succeed without us. We are certainly needed, but so much more is needed than us. In these moments, we must be capable of the tricky balance between taking responsibility and appreciating the roles of others. We must arrive prepared to engage, to make decisions, and to show leadership, but also to give way to a higher order if one is presented. This is a dance, as all tiferet days are: we cannot fall asleep behind supposed roles – either leader or follower. We must find the nuanced balanced of being simultaneously leader and follower. Day 46 - Netzach of malchut Our realm of responsibility in the world is real, and it needs us. But this does not mean we will find a red carpet guiding us toward our rightful throne. We may well need to struggle to attain the realm of responsibility that is rightfully ours. This may take any number of forms – whether it be asserting control over a board of directors, defining behavioral rules for children, or holding out for a job that maximally uses our skills. Day 47 - Hod of malchut The converse of asserting our responsibility over a certain realm is to humbly accept someone else’s responsibility over a situation that involves us, when it is appropriate. When we do not know what to do or how to be and someone else does, we must allow them to assert their own responsibility over the situation without interference or resentment. In fact, these are opportunities for gratitude and appreciation. Responsibility is difficult to take, as we know, and when someone else is appropriately willing to do so, we must honor that. Day 48 - Yesod of malchut It is essential that we honor the relationships that occur within the boundaries of our particular realms of responsibility. After all, it is certainly counterproductive if I ‘provide’ for people who are within my realm of responsibility but do not treat them well in the process. The Torah and history are full of kings who sought personal gain from their subjects, treating them as resources to be mined and not as people to be respected. Today we are encouraged to contemplate our relationships to the people and situations we provide for or guide, whether it is a project, a board of directors, a student, or a child. We must be sure to provide for their dignity and well-being while we continue to take responsibility for the success of the situation as a whole. Day 49 - Malchut of malchut For the Evening of June 7, 2008 The entire scheme of 49 days/attributes describes the process whereby an idea or urge or talent travels from the mind to the world, from abstract potential to the concrete manifestation. It ends, literally, at the tip of the tongue, as the word or action emerges from within us. The very last step is malchut of malchut – responsibility for responsibility. My realm of responsibility is my responsibility to maintain and perfect. As words leave my mouth and enter the world, I am faced with the shocking fact that I affect other people with what I say and do. I am responsible for what comes out. But do I take responsibility for examining how I am doing, for noticing how it affects people around me? This is the moment when what is inside me enters into relationship. I can no longer merely express what is on my mind, if I am not prepared to notice how it goes, to take credit/responsibility, and to adjust if necessary. And with this frightening/clear moment of realization, I realize just how much I need the Torah in order to effectively do what I need to do, and to be sure that what I do is saturated with the values, wisdom, and holiness that the Torah teaches us. The end The 49 days/attributes are more of a ‘how’ than a ‘what’. The ‘what’ happens in the top three Divine Emanations, wisdom-understanding-knowledge, which we do not deal with during the Omer - the Omer is concerned with how to get that down into the world effectively. But on the ‘50th day’ of the Omer, we come back to the source and concern ourselves with the ‘what’. All the work we have done in the past 7 weeks creates an inviting ‘target’ for the Torah Hashem wants to bring into the world. Put another way, Hashem is more likely to give a deeper ‘what’ to people who are capable of bringing it into the world with a well-tuned ‘how’. Today, believe in the work you have done and open up again to ideas, to essences and ethics, to fundaments and clarifications and truths. And may we all be blessed to be filled with the light of Torah, and that it come through us into the world in the best and holiest way. Amen. |
Last modified: 11:58 PM 6/7/2008